Joshua’s midnight song
His toes are no bigger
than a kernel of corn
This tiny little stranger
who has just been born
Scrunched up tight
In the middle of the night
His brother takes one look
and says:
He’s no bigger
than my foot
A mouth puckers up
like a thirsty rose
and wobbles about
beneath his button small nose
Our little stranger sweet
Can you see his tiny feet?
And his brother takes one look
Says: He’s no bigger
than my foot
OH-H-H!
He's a fuzz of taffy hair
and tiny fingers
under there
Do you think that he can squall?
I haven’t heard him yet at all
And EYES –
Just look and see!
They are blinking up at me
Dark and navy blue.
Oh my! Do you suppose
he snipped them
from the sky?
See him squiggle-squirm up tight
Do you suppose he knows
it’s the middle of the night?
And look. I tell you. LOOK!
He is no bigger than my foot
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Joshua Joshua with taffy sweet hair
God shaped you from sunshine
You caught more than your share
One cup of robins chirps
And half quickly worm
Really do you think that's how
You learned how to squirm?
Joshua Joshua with navy blue eyes
With a bucket of smiles
And your toes in the sky
You set the moon spinning
The planets go wild
Oh where did we find
Such a Heavenly child?
******$$$$$$$$
Just little for awhile
Joshua Joshua is going to be
Just little for awhile
He’ll have dimples and grins
And wobbly chins
He’ll have peppercorn toes
And one chubby nose
He’ll have porcupine hair
And small shirts to wear
We’ll bubble and burp him
Chuckle and chirp him
Then one morning we’ll blink
And before you can think …
With a chorkle and a goo
I’m going to eat your toes Joshua Goo
You won’t mind
Will you?
Why they’re pink like bubblegum
Oh yes I will have some
And when I finish with your toes
I’ll start to eat your nose
I’m going to eat your toes Joshua Goo
Your nose begins to squiggle
And now it wants to wiggle
It’s a small bump like a snail
That hasn’t got a tail
And yes, I do like snails Joshua Goo
I’m going to eat your chin Joshua Goo
Where shall we begin Joshua Goo?
Let’s start here at the top
And keep chewing til we stop
I’m going to eat your toes Joshua Goo
Now I’ll eat your tummy Joshua Goo
Oh boy! It sure is yummy Joshua Goo
I’m going to eat your tummy
You seem to think that’s funny
I’m going to eat your toes Joshua Goo
I’m going to eat your ears Joshua Goo
Oh no! And now that you can’t hear …
* Before anyone asks: A chorkle is halfway between a chortle and a chuckle
Words
Do you know what happened today?
Joshua had a barrel full of words to say
There were Red ones And Black ones
Skinny ones And Fat ones
Mammoth ones Small ones
Hardly-There-At-All ones
I bet if we scrapped the barrel at the time
We would have found nine zillion nine hundred and nine
Do you know when he decided to make himself heard?
Why – in the middle of lunch
He let loose every word
They flew through the carrots
They splattered through peas
Some stuck on the ceiling
Some got caught in the trees
There were words on my fingers
On his tummy and feet
Our neighbor even found some
Rolling into the street
A gazillion are bubbling out under the door
GOOD GRIEF!
They are flooding all over the floor.
Breakfast
It’s a most fan-tab-u-lous breakfast
As yummy as yummy can be
It’s sticky and sweet
Sticks to your feet
Come on – won’t you share it with me?
It’s a most fan-tab-u-lous breakfast
They’re round and curly like Os
And they wiggle inside
Like fish that aren’t fried
And they creep awfully close to your nose
It’s a most fan-tab-u-lous breakfast
This will be a fantabulous day
Because the sun is bright red
And you heard what I said
We won’t have it
ANY OTHER WAY!
Supper by the spoonful
Get your fingers out of your mouth
They’re not on the menu today
Get your fingers out of your mouth
They’ll only get glued up that way
Scrape the rice cereal off of your chin
And shovel a spoonful back in
It squishes back out
Dribbles about
We start all over again
Get your fingers out of your mouth
Don’t you know you’re learning to eat?
Get your fingers out of your mouth
Next week we’ll work on your feet.
Changing the diaper
Joshua Joshua Joshua Poo-o-o
Whatever are we going to do?
Your bottom’s yellow
Your bottom’s green
You’re the biggest mess I’ve seen
Whatever are we going to do
You certainly don’t smell like a rose?
Your brother had to hold his nose
Sister throws her hands up in despair
‘There are smelllbugs creeping through the air’
Watch out they’ll get all over you
The neighbours will be petrified
That means turned to stone inside
Whatever are we going to do?
Those smellbugs are everywhere!
They’re behind the door
Over the mantel
Coming up through the floor
He is a mess right to his knees
We’ve got to do a scrubdown
So bring the water please
We’re going to need a basin
We’re going to need a cloth
We’re going to need some powder
To get those smellbugs off
Be sure and bring some tissue
No, we won’t need the glue
But bring a brand new diaper
Oh … and bring the baby too!
Joshua Joshua Joshua Ah-h-h-h
You’re smelling sweeter now by far.
Joshua at midnight again
Joshua’s decided it’s daytime
And he’s not going asleep
He doesn’t care if
It’s dark or it’s light
He’s got squiggles inside of his feet
He’s guzzled three bottles of warm milk
We’ve worn out five rocking chairs
Changed diapers ten times
On his powdered behind
But he isn’t going NO WHERE!
Oh Joshua please won’t you tell us
What it is that we’re doing wrong?
Would you like pancakes instead?
Should we powder your head?
Or have a snufflelunk sing you a song?
Perhaps we might ask Wayne Gretsky
To skate around the stars in the sky
Or dribble a rainbow over your toes
So that you can bounce up just as high
But really Joshua really!
It’s time you were going asleep
If we can’t get that Sandman
Inside of your head
He’ll just have to sit on your feet!
The sock song
Joshua-With-Only-One-Sock-On
What can we do with those toes?
They squirm
And they wiggle
They jump
And they jiggle
And then curl up
Inside of your nose!
Joshua-With-Only-One-Sock-On
Will you listen to what
I’ve just said?
We’re afraid if your toes
Can get inside your nose
They might end up
Inside your head
We can only suppose that everyone knows
A head isn’t meant for a house
If your nose is used as a stairway
You might end up house-ing a mouse
Joshua-With-Only-One-Sock-On
Do you know
What we ought to do?
Send a rose to your nose
(That smells better than toes)
And teach your toes to live inside a shoe.
Just for fun
Oh my poor little Joshua Kid
Didn’t you see what your Mother just did?
She’s mushed orange carrot all through your hair
And now she’s giving you green beans to wear
Did she hook that shoe over your ear?
Are those soggy French fries – or your fingers, my dear?
Your ears are all wrinkles
Are they on inside out?
You’re so wet your diaper is afloat like a boat
Oh Jumping Geegollipers! She says with a frown
How did your diaper get on upside down?
Is that cereal I see spouting out of your toes?
Did I stick that bottle inside of your nose?
Is that a rainbow dancing over your head?
Do all furry creatures live inside your bed?
What’s that river of strange sounds
Pouring out of your mouth?
That’s a distinctly smelly wind coming in from the south!
Are your toes tied in knots up under your chin?
What have you been doing to give you that grin?
Oh Thunderation! Mother splutters and says
I think this is going to be one of those days.
The four-letter word
It’s that four-letter word
you don’t want me to say
The one with a Big L at the start
Because it’s gummy and sweet
and it sticks to your feet
And it curls up to sleep in your heart
And then comes an O
That’s no problem you know
A perfectly ordinary sound
It makes HOT DOGS and HORNETS
COLD BLOOD and DOUGHNUTS
and other things equally profound
A V near the end
is no problem my friend
You chew that one up every day
VIPERS VAMPIRES and VEINS
VINEGAR VILLIANS and VENOM
What more can I say
And E as I’ve found
is an elegant sound
You sip it like EGGNOG from a GLOVE
That’s not painful at all
So what’s your Big Problem with _ _ _ _?
Yesterday, today – and tomorrow
Today you’re as tall as the kitchen chair
Today you’re as tall as my knee
Yesterday you were small
Not big at all
Tomorrow you’ll be tall as me
Now you’re as tall as the window
Now you reach into the sink
Yesterday you were small
Not big at all
Tomorrow – Well what do you think?
Today you’re as tall as under my chin
Today you get jars from the shelf
Yesterday you were small
Not big at all
I remember – I saw you myself
Today you’re as tall as the top of my ear
You can reach the ceiling when you try
Yesterday you were small
Not big at all
Tomorrow you will touch the sky.
Mad Monday
A voice screams in from Outer Space
‘It’s time to get out of bed!’
Buzzers start blaring
Red lights are glaring
They bounce off the fog in my head
The red lights blink
Screech 7 – 3 – 0
A quilt squirms in close to my ear
The left wall yells: ‘Quiet! Or we’ll start a riot’
Someone groans: ‘Get the blink out of here’
A voice screams in from Outer Space
‘Hello – Have you gotten up yet?’
The clock glares 8 – 0 – 5
I’m one-third alive
Sweatshirt twists into knots
Round my neck
Hair is climbing
Straight out of my ears
My eyes aren’t attached to my head
Pants are panting – covered in mud
A sneaker crawls back into bed
One grey sock zips over next to the door
A navy one jumps off the ceiling
My underwear’s done its vanishing act
My mouth has lost all its feeling
Homework has been shredded to lettuce
Mad Monday is well underway
If school turns out to be half this good
It’s going to be one Heck of a Day!
Black Wednesday
‘Why does it always happen to me?’
His cheeks crunch into a frown
Ears boil to a growl
His hair starts to howl
A shirt is pulled on upside down
‘Why does it always happen to me?’
He beats the air with his head
The shirt squirms about
Then turns inside out
His toes are turning beet red
‘Why does it always happen to me?’
Now his teeth start to chatter and blurt
Well, don’t look my way
I have my own groans today
And besides I can’t fit in that shirt.
There is only one thing
That isn’t quite clear
How did you get from nowhere to here?
